Why is the world like this??

Ok so I have to vent...to the request of our attorney she wanted us to call the social worker at the hospital to give her a heads up that we were adopting and our baby was being born there and what are the specific protocals for that hospital. The lady I spoke to was very matter of fact and said that "we honor the birthmother wishes and that is it, we do not recognize the BF , attorneys or adoptive parents, they have no rights in the matter"...I told her our BM had a birthplan in place for her baby and delivery and do they stick to it closely and she said that they try to(try to???) why bother doing it right???
BM put in her plan that she wants us allowed to have as much time with Beckham as possible so we can bond she wishes for baby not to be in room with her so. At delivery they only issue two arm bands and BM has to decide who gets arm bands...anyway the concern for us is that she remembers in the heat of all of this to let them give us an arm band if we don't get an armband then we have no access to baby without BM (let me tell you that is bitter sweet we did that with Rylie because we didnt make it to her delivery and band had been issued already)
BM wants baby in nursery so if we have no band then we get to sit with our noses to the glass until discharge:(
So we ask you to pray specifically that the BM remembers to tell the staff to follow the birthplan specifically and issue band to us.
It is a crime in my opinion that the hospital systems treat the adoptive parents like baby theifs. We had it happen at Reno. We had NO access to Rylie without BM present and she just wanted to leave. So we would stand for hours with our noses to the glass looking at Rylie until that sunday when BM was discharged and the sweetest nurse in theworld "sally" rolled Rylie to the doorway and said "I could loose my job for this, but you need to hold your baby girl." She allowed us to hold Rylie in the doorway of the nursery for a few minutes. It was the sweetest moments Rylie was so tiny was entire leg was sticking out through the snaps in her sleeper:) That moment made us forget at the time the gaurd standing watch at the hallway...crazy huh!!
These BM make the toughest decision in their lives to do this and come to peace with it, and we are the ones that are not allowed any access at all with the babies. And the babies are not allowed bonding time so early on.